Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Hypocrite Much? ;)

As I'm sitting here in a coffee shop eating a chocolate chip-raspberry muffin and drinking a brown sugar chai, I think this may be the appropriate time to talk about my weight loss and fitness progress and goals.  ;)

I have battled with my weight for YEARS.  I like to blame it on my kids/pregnancies, but that is by far not how/when it started.  In all honesty, I think it started when I finally found myself feeling safe, comfortable and happy (ironic, huh?)... when I was in my mid 20s.  (It may have started earlier than that, but thinking back and seeing myself in pictures in high school/college/graduation/etc, I didn't start to balloon until after I graduated from college).  I have discovered that my body is REALLY good at gaining weight.  But it's also pretty good at losing it... thus lots of fluctuation over the years (and lots of piles of pants that are either too big or two small in my closet).

When I got my first job post-grad school I was at my highest weight.  I hated to admit the numbers on the scale and mostly just ignored them (and had been doing so for months--maybe years--I'm sure).  My now-husband had also proposed to me just a few months prior to this point, and I knew that I wanted to drop some inches before my wedding day.  So, I did.  Between a counting calories routine and getting some exercise (though more of the former and less of latter, to be honest), I dropped 30 lbs in 8 months.  My dress had to be altered a lot (and the seamstress even commented on the fact that I bought too big of a dress size... I told her it was my "fault" for dropping the weight).

When I got pregnant roughly a year later, I was only up about 5-10 lbs from wedding weight... but then I gained a TON during pregnancy (too many brownies) and my daughter wasn't nearly chubby enough to take the bulk of it with her.  ;)  About a year after she was born, I was at my NEW highest weight (by about 15 lbs, I think) and felt awful.  So, I started the food diary/calorie counting routine again and started to (attempt to) work out again.  I'll tell you though, working out with an infant/toddler at home after working 40 hours/week is REALLY difficult, both emotionally and physically).  

By February 2014 I was down roughly 25 lbs, had just fit back into my pre-prego jeans, was 5-10 lbs away from pre-prego weight (and about 15-20 lbs away from wedding weight) and was feeling pretty awesome!  And then, I found out that I was pregnant with my son.  FANTASTIC news for my husband and I and our families, but terrible news for my body.  As I mentioned before, my body is REALLY good at gaining weight.

With my son, I stopped paying attention to the scales at the doctor's office.  I tried to be "good" with my eating and only had MAYBE one or two chocolate milkshakes the entire time!  But, I still gained a lot of weight (much more than the "recommended" amount) and, after my son was born, I was right back to the beginning in terms of my post-prego weight loss with my daughter.  Only, this time, I had a goal... by my son's 1st birthday, I wanted to have dropped the weight!  So, I kicked my own ass into gear!

In May I joined a "Biggest Loser" challenge with a group of local moms.  It was great to have the weekly food and exercise challenges, as well as the encouragement from others.  In the 8ish weeks that the challenge occurred, I dropped roughly 13 lbs.

During the last 4 weeks of the challenge, the weather was started to get nicer, earlier so I started (again, for the third time) the Couch To 5k (C25k) running program.  I would go in the mornings before work (hello 5:30 am) and go for runs... something that I was NEVER good at, and always HATED... before now, and before I saw the weight loss results that running could have!  After the end of the Biggest Loser challenge I continued the C25k program and signed up for another 5k (I signed up for one with my sister in law at the beginning of the summer, but don't really count that one as I walked the majority of the course).

I had a new goal... no longer was my goal to "lose weight", but rather to RUN a 5k.  And I was determined to do so by the race in August.

And I DID IT!  Not only did a RUN the entire thing, but I took something like 11 minutes off my time from the first (walked) race... and finished in the middle of my age division.  Did you hear that?  The MIDDLE!  Not the END!  The amount of pride that I felt in myself was unbelievable. And, as an extra bonus, I'd lost another 10 lbs or so.

I decided to sign up for another 5k a couple months later, in early October.  I continued to run with a goal to improve my time and do it for enjoyment (running on the beach is awesome!)

About a month in, something totally came in and ruined my plans... I got pneumonia.  I was hospitalized for several days (more on this later) and it just completed kicked my butt and knocked me out.  It was absolutely awful (more on this later)  That being said... I lost about 15 lbs... in less than a week, and found myself at pre-prego weight before little man's 1st birthday.  Silver lining?

Though I was down pounds-wise, I didn't feel strong anymore.  I felt so, so weak..

It's been almost 2 months since I was discharged from the hospital.  I have gained back about 6 lbs (I am ok with that for now, as I know that my body wasn't ready to lose it), and just started running around last week.  I have signed up for a 5k in March and am looking forward to the cold, wet asphalt and my ability to, once again, see my body in action and feel strong and accomplished.  Also, hoping to get back down to pre-Sam weight, followed by pre-Emily weight, followed by (dare I say?) wedding weight.  ;)

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