That Waitress Deserved a Bigger Tip...

This blog has been pretty neglected... I don't mean to.  I have intentions of writing more, but most days I just feel like everything is... ordinary and not particularly interesting.  Plus, most evenings my brain just wants to shut off, watch some Grey's Anatomy and drink a glass a wine.  

Today is turning out not to be one of those days...

Let me set the scene.  I've been solo parenting this week, so I took today to be "kid free" and get some errands run and recharge a bit.  I dropped the kids off at their old day care and did what needed to be done.  Fast forward eight hours or so, I head back to pick them up.  It's rush hour by that time, so I decided to take the kids out to dinner and wait out the traffic.

We head over to Applebee's because I know that a) there is rarely a wait for a table, b) it's never too crowded so I doubt loud kids will annoy too many people, and c) they have "low cal" menu options for me... and d) I like to be waited on when I have the chance to be.  =)

Our waitress gave me a knowing smirk when we were seated and asked if I wanted a margarita.... really wish now that I would have taken her up on that.

We got our drinks, ordered our food, and everyone, for the most part, was doing a-okay.  I was actually starting to pat myself on the back a bit at how smoothly the evening in a restaurant, with two kid, by myself was actually going.

Our waitress brought us out our food, and Emily proceeded to pull the corn off her dog in her usual way, when Sam started to make a noise.  I look over at him, not yet taking a bit of my own dinner, and see that he his puking.  A lot.  All over the place.

His high chair, his clothes, the carpet beneath his chair... all covered in yogurt-y looking vomit. Tinged, I'm sure, but the milk that he was sipping on prior to the incident.  Quickly I get a server's attention, tell her that we need to go containers and that he had just been sick.  Containers and a wet rag swiftly appeared at our table.  I sat there, trying to figure out how to get my son cleaned up, with his bile already on my hands, and somehow get our food packed up... thankfully I had a lot of hand sanitizer in the diaper bag, and a 4 year old that was willing to help (though her idea of packing up her yogurt also included stealing the serving dish that it was presented in. lol).

Finally I got the bill paid, both kids and food out to the car.  Sam got a quick change of clothes, and a prayer that he wouldn't throw up on the way home.  For the next 30+ minutes I sat in (not horrible, thank God) traffic with the scent of puke and Applebee's take out wafting through our car.

Getting home, Emily had fallen asleep.  She can be... challenging... to wake up, and tonight was no different.  I finally got her on her feet, and when to get Sam and our food.  Thankfully nothing extra had occurred.

Everyone got inside, I set our food down on the kitchen counter, and Sam started to heave again.  I tried to hold him over the kitchen sink, but he wanted nothing to do with that... he wanted to bury his face in my warm sweater and empty his stomach.

When he was done, I asked Emily to get herself a spoon so that she could finish her dinner, and I took Sam upstairs to give him a quick bath.  I got him in the tub (and sat there with him, topless, with my now-disgusting sweater thankfully removed) and he acted like nothing was amiss.  Like, "yeah!  I love baths!"  I really don't understand kids sometimes.  After a few minutes he stood up, said, "All Done", and I wrapped him up in a big towel, got him into his jammies, read him a book and put an almost-passed-out little man to bed.

I came downstairs to clean up and check on Emily, and found this...

She got the spoon that I told her to...

So, I cleaned up some puke, got the gross clothes from the car (how do I get that smell out?) and started a load of laundry.  Then I carried Emily upstairs and put her to bed.  Generally, both kids in bed and asleep before 8:00 would be cause for celebration... but currently I'm just worried.  Sam has already woken up once heaving.  Not sure what the rest of the night is going to bring.

I've washed/sanitized my hands about a dozen times so far... I can't get sick.  I'm photographing someone's wedding this weekend... I can NOT get sick...

Facing My Fears!

This is by far not the most important of blog posts in terms of the catch up that I'm trying to do, but I think it is definitely worth including...

I got a tattoo!

For some, this is no big deal, for me, it is a HUGE accomplishment and milestone of me facing some pretty big fears.

I have been terrified of (some) needles for a very, very long time... almost phobic (my doctor's have actually prescribed me anti-anxiety medications before to assist with the need for blood draws/testing).  Ever since I was a kid, getting a blood draw (or other intrusive needle jabbing)--and sometimes just the THOUGHT of it--was usually accompanied by a fainting spell.  Passing out in doctor's chairs, car passenger seats, my dentists chair, a pre-op hospital bed, health class (yup...), while watching medical shows on TV... it was definitely a "thing".  One of my biggest concerns about ever getting pregnant was the sheer number of pre-natal blood tests and being connected to an IV in the hospital.

Over the years, I have figured out ways to combat my anxiety around this and have discovered different coping mechanisms that help.  But getting in front of a needle is not exactly my idea of a good time (I didn't get my ears pierced until I was 25... AFTER getting my nose pierced as my quarter-century birthday-present-to-me/act of personal rebellion... I figured it was just one hole/needle rather than two! lol).

That being said, I have been thinking about getting a tattoo for YEARS.  In fact, a few months before I made the consultation appointment with the artist I got a Timehop flashback from FOUR YEARS AGO saying something around the lines of "I really want to get a tattoo!" =)  I figured that it was time. 

I'd been thinking about what I wanted for a pretty long time, and had been searching around Yelp/Google/Reviews/etc for artists and shops in the area... but I just hadn't pulled the trigger.  Then, a friend of mine got the name of an artist that she thought would do a good job... and Jacob said that he would finally get "his" tattoo, too!  So, we made it a sort of 5-year wedding anniversary adventure and gave up our tattoo virginities at the same time.  =)

I had a pretty good sense of what I wanted from my tattoo, but needed something designed.  I am very happy with the results!  The image is a floral "timeline".  The first flower, the Morning Glory, is a birth month flower for September (both Jacob and I were born in September), the Sunflower was our wedding flower.  The Sweet Pea ins April's flower (Emily's birth month) and the orange flower, a Cosmos (or could also double as a marigold, is for October, when Sam was born.

Jacob had a friend design his (based on line art that he had already created).  The symbol signifies a childhood nickname.  And also his online gaming persona.  ;)

Overall, I am very happy with the final products.  And am happy to report that I didn't pass out AT ALL!  That is a HUGE win!  It went so well (and didn't hurt nearly as much as I was expecting), that I'm already wondering what my next one will be.  ;)

My (Other) Baby Turns 1!

OK, actually, he just turned 13 months... I'm a bit behind with my life recaps (we've been busy, I swear!) but here is a cute kid photo dump of Sam's first birthday party last month!  His actual birthday double as CLOSING DAY for our new house, and so his birthday party the following week was kind of an open house for family and friends as well.  =)  Much to celebrate!

Sam was actually pretty tentative with the cake.  We didn't get the traditional "smash" that we were hoping for.  In fact, Jacob had to put Cheerios on it just to get Sam to put the frosting in his mouth! lol

Our New Normal

There is been a bit of radio silence on this blog recently... mostly it's because life's been nuts (in addition to the general nuttiness of having two small children).  The Corey family has decided to change things up a bit... rather drastically.  

The whole thing started this summer when Jacob was offered, accepted and started a new job in Vancouver, on the other side of the river, in another state, with different taxes.  Jacob started talking about wanting to move as it would effect his take-home income, but my job and our (awesome) child care situation was holding us back.  Then, in August, you may remember my post about not getting a promotion that I really thought I had a high chance of getting... and was really the carrot at the end of the stick in terms of my then-current position.  

I had an epiphany at that point... I was, once again, "stuck" in a position that I didn't really want to do, for less than 1/3 of what Jacob was getting paid for a job that he loves (and would bring home more from if we moved to Vancouver due to the lack of income tax).  I was spending about 3 hours per weekday with my kids, 2 hours of which was stressing everyone out by trying to get them out the door in time for Jacob and I to get to work or trying to get them to bed.  I never had any energy on the weekends, was commuting roughly 1.5-2 hours per day (same for Jacob) between work and shuttling kids to daycare.  It just didn't make sense anymore.  I have always enjoyed my work and really cared about it's mission... which I still do.  But I couldn't make the argument anymore that I was continuing to work for my family and for myself... it wasn't true anymore.

So, in August, we found a house that we loved in Vancouver and put in an offer.  We put our house on the market.  We got an offer in September, and moved in October, the week before Sam's birthday and in November I finished working to stay home, raise my children, and manage our household. 

 This post was going to be about the process of the home purchase/move and our stumbling blocks... that's what I intended to write about when I started.  But the post has taken a different course, and I'm going to allow it to do so.  I'll tell you all more about the move later, but for now let me just tell you how amazing it is not to have wake up a sleepy 3-year old when it's still dark outside (when she REALLY doesn't want to open her eyes), skip breakfast EVERY morning because there just isn't enough time to get everything done, not eat dinner until 7:00/7:30 because I can't actually start cooking until 6:00, spend more than an hour a day listening to my children laugh and play, go to the store on a Tuesday afternoon when there are no lines, take my kids to the library and week day play grounds.  Jacob is loving it, too.  He can sleep/leave a little later in the morning (and in a better mood!), can come home on his lunch breaks to hang out with us, and is home about an hour earlier every night than he has been for the last 3 years... it's only day 4 (and, truth be told, today is my "me/errands day" and they are actually with the sitter while I go grocery shopping and run other errands - while still taking a Starbucks break for some peppermint hot chocolate and blog catch ups) but so far I'm not regretting my decision at all, and believe that we made the best choice for our family.  I am very much looking forward to seeing what our new "normal" is going to be like.  =)

My Week in Review

A business colleague of mine asked me the other day how it was going with two kids.  She said that when her second was born she realized that having two wasn't just a X2 situation, but rather a 2-squared type of deal.  Most days, I would disagree.  Having two has been challenging, but generally speaking not too bad.  This week, however, was the exception to that rule.  Here's the recap of the last week(ish) for our family...

last Thursday:  Emily crawled into bed with us Thursday night and was hot.  She had a fever, even the bottoms of her little feet were radiating heat.  Understandably, she was having a hard time sleeping... if you've ever been in bed with a tossing and turning toddler, you know that when she can't sleep, no one can.  I got up with her and got her some Tylenol and managed to get her back to sleep, but then I had a hard time getting myself back to sleep.  Long story short, that night I probably got in about 4 hours of sleep... total... NOT in a row.

Friday:  Emily seemed to be doing better.  Just some random fever thing I thought.  Took the two kids to daycare thinking it was going to be a regular day.  Got a text at about 4:00 PM letting me know that Emily had a fever and said that she felt like she was going to throw up.  I cut out of a meeting early to go pick her up.  Had to kind of chuckle to myself when I did the stereotypical "read an emergency text message and book it" sort of thing.  ;)  When I got to daycare, Emily was passed out on the couch, looking really flush.  I packed her up and took her home (left Sam there for Jacob to pick up so that I could spend an hour or so coddling Emily.  Within a couple of hours of being home, Emily appeared to be fine again (never vomited).  By that time I was pretty confused.  That night, she crawled into bed with us again.  With another fever.  This time we foregoed the Tylenol and rode it out.  Her fever broke and she seemed to be a-ok.

Saturday:  Emily's birthday party at my parents place.  Thankfully Emily was feeling better and everything went well.

Sunday: Hung out with friends and then drove home.  End of a nice weekend... thank God for that.

Monday:  Background info... our morning routine consists of Jacob taking all of the bags (diaper bag, pump, laptop if needed) out to my car on his way to work so that I just have to struggle with the kids about a half hour later.  This time, however, I had forgotten to take my car keys out of the diaper bag after our weekend adventures.  Which meant that they were in the car, all locked up, when I needed to leave.  So, right as he was getting into the office, Jacob got a call to drive home to rescue us.  Great start to a Monday.  I got the kids to daycare and got to work.  Around noon I get a call from daycare letting me know that Emily's eyes are really blood shot and there's a concern that she may have gotten pink eye (one of the other girls at daycare was diagnosed the week prior).  With my schedule packed solid, I call Jacob to see if he can retrieve Emily.  He does while I call the pediatrician to get her in for an appointment.  Turns out that she has "viral pink eye" which apparently isn't contagious and is just how some kids react to a cold.  They tell us to look out for "gunk" as that could mean that she's progressed to bacterial pink eye, which is contagious.  Jacob spent 4 hours in the car that day, and only 3.5 at work.

Tuesday:  Jacob decides to stay home with Emily and give her a day to rest and try to get her eyes to go back to normal (they are still pretty blood shot).  When I get home from work and am cuddling with Sam, I notice a little bit of sleepy type goo in his eye and wipe it away... three times.  Crap.

Wednesday:  Sam's right eye is pretty wet and gunky, but not red at all.  They don't seem to be bothering him, but I don't want to get another call from daycare, so we decide to drop Emily off and take Sam to his Nana's for the day.  I decide to go ahead and take him to ZoomCare first thing to get him checked out.  Turns out ZoomCare isn't covered by my insurance, so I end up paying way too much out of pocket only to hear that he also has viral pink eye.  I was confused as the pediatrician had told us that it wasn't contagious.  Turns out the pink eye isn't, but the cold that caused it is.  We were told to look out for the red blood shot eyes as that could mean bacteria issues.

Did you read that good?  Emily was red with no goo,  Sam was gooey with red.  WTF?

Thursday:  After dropping Emily off at daycare, I bring Sam home with the plan to get some work done at home and run some work related errands with him in tow.  Jacob is also working from home that day, so I figured we could tag team it.  Sam BARELY sleeps all day.  I have to get to the office in the afternoon so Jacob has to work with a baby (who refuses to sleep) on his lap for the last chunk of his day.  Apparently he didn't get much done.  Jacob calls me at about 5:15 telling me that Sam FINALLY fell asleep... and now he (Jacob) has to go pick up Emily.  Instead of risking waking the baby, we call daycare and get a brief extension to pick up Emily.  I leave work early to go get her.  She's the last one there, but doesn't seem to mind.

Today:  Sam wakes up at about 5:30 with his eye sealed shut and NOT happy about it.  Jacob and I both try several things and ultimately get the eye cleaned up.  But he's (and me) are awake at that point.  I cuddle him, feed him, and rock him and eventually, right after 6:00, he falls back asleep.  My alarm goes off at 6:30, so there's no real point to going back to bed.  Since it's my turn to stay home with a sick kid, I take the next hour to do some work and call in.  I spend the day with a cuddly, snotty, feverish, gooey baby.  Thankfully he wasn't too cranky, just physically gross.

Really hoping that we're all on the mend.

Adventures in Sleep Training an Infant with a Sick Toddler in the Next Room

The title kind of sums up my weekend.

Sam is 5 months old... and was waking up regularly every 2-3 hours throughout the night.  I would nurse him, but it was obvious that he wasn't really eating anything.  For the last couple of weeks I have just been waiting for a mellow weekend with no plans so that we could dedicate some time to sleep training/night weaning.  I just wasn't sure how to do it with a toddler in the next room...

The plan that Jacob and I came up with was that we'd put everyone to bed as normal around 8:00 (Sam goes to bed just fine, it's the waking up that's the problem).  If/when Sam woke Emily up, the plan was to move her to the couch in the living room at the end of the hall, hoping that would distance her enough from the noise and she could get some sleep.  Here's what actually occurred:

8:00 - Sam goes to bed with a little bit of whining, but is out within 5 minutes.
8:15 - Emily goes to bed... and by "goes to bed", I mean that I leave her room and close the door... we never really know what she's going to do in there.
8:45 - Emily comes up crying that she fell out of her bed.  I put her back to bed and tuck her in.
9:30 - I hear coughing, and then crying.  Jacob goes to check on Emily, sure enough she's puked all over her room.
9:32- Jacob takes Emily into the bathtub for a quick spray down while I try to clean partially digested hot dog out of a white shag rug.
9:40- Jacob bundles Emily up in a blanket and helps me with clean up.
10:00 - Put Emily back to bed, and tell her that, if she needs to throw up again, the toilet is an excellent place to do so.
11:00 - I can't keep my eyes open any more... Sam should be up soon, but I'm fading fast.  Jacob agrees to take the first "shift".  I go to bed.
11:45 - I hear Sam crying and Jacob going in to him... then I hear more coughing and crying... then I hear Jacob scurrying around... then I hear Sam crying... then I decide to get up and help.
12:00 - Sam's gone back to sleep, I'm tucking Emily and Jacob in on the couch in the living room with a big bowl next to her head (Jacob decided to sleep on the couch with her in case she got sick again).  This last time she threw up she must have heaved a few times... and ultimately ended up in the toilet (she listened!  Just too bad she threw up twice on the way there.. lol).
5:30 - Sam wakes up, I go in to feed him, he goes back to bed.
7:30 - The day begins.

Annnnddd... it just occurred to me that these were the events of Saturday night... we actually started on Friday. lol  See?  I'm exhausted!  So... back tracking to Friday... I went to bed and Jacob did everything.  He stays up super late any way, so he took care of "progressive waiting" until 2:30 when he came to bed... and it wasn't that bad.  I think Sam was ready for it just as much as we were.  He did wake Emily up, and she did end up sleeping on the couch.

Sunday Sam slept until 3:30 and then decided that he didn't want to be asleep... or awake for that matter.  He was just whining in his crib with his eye closed.  I think it probably took about half an hour for him to fall back asleep, though, he was not really crying... just the whining.

Monday morning I woke up feeling a little "off".  My stomach was bothering me.  I dropped the kids off at day care and then came home with the expectation that I'd work from home... that didn't happen.  By 11:00 I was back in bed (between visits to the bathroom) and didn't really get horizontal again until Jacob and the kids got home around 6.  Yay for day care germs.  =(

When Emily got home, though, she did ask me if I wanted a stuffed animal and then played a "song" on the piano to make me "feel happy".  =)

My Truth About Breastfeeding

I have been lucky to be able to breast feed both of my babies.  I know that not all women are able to do so for a variety of reasons.  I also know that the social pressure and the "breast is best" motto has really got to hurt when you are unable to do so... and are unable to afford the high cost of donor milk (20-35k per year).  Mommy guilt sucks.  Mommy guilt also sucks, big time, if you don't WANT to breastfeed... which is the category that I fall into.  I struggle daily with my desire to wean/supplement with formula and my guilt around giving my kids what's "best" and taking for granted something that other mothers would love to be able to do.  But please, hear me out.  Here's what I have heard (and continue to hear) about the positives of breast feeding... and my take on the situation:

"Breast is best"/Breast milk is better for your child than formula --  I'm not going to argue to the science here.  Breast milk has been shown time and time again to have more health benefits, both short and long term, than formula does.  However, that being said, my children are not going to be mutated, fat, stupid and lazy if they are given formula.  Jacob and I were both formula-fed babies, and we are both well-adjusted, intelligent adults living very happy lives.

Breastfeeding is convenient.  HAHAHAHA.  This one, in my mind, is truly laughable.  Yes, it may be easier to whip out a boob than to put water in a bottle and mix it up with some formula, you don't have to carry as much around in your diaper bag and you don't have to do any sort of pre-planning in terms of feeding... HOWEVER (and please remember, as the title said, these are MY truths) it would be so much easier to bottle feed a baby while trying to grocery shop, while your partner is driving the car on a road trip, when you're at a social function with (non-nursing mom) friends and family (pulling my boob out in front of my father-in-law doesn't equal a good time in my book), etc. etc.  Additionally, if you breastfeed you have to plan your wardrobe around the activity... I am constantly having to think about what shirt/outfit will allow me the easiest access to my chest.  Want to wear a cute, high necked dress?  Not going to happen unless you want to retreat to a private place and get undressed every time you need to feed the little one.  Don't want the entire world to see your baby-flab tummy?  Gotta wear multiple layers so you can pull one up and one down and keep your mid-drift covered.  Final note on the "convenience" point, pumping breast milk at work is, like, the complete opposite of "convenient".

Nope, actually, I have one more thing to say about this one... sleep.  As a breastfeeding mother, when my baby has to eat.  It's up to me... day or night.  Sure, my husband could give the little one a pumped bottle, but guess who had to pump that bottle, and who will need to pump again in order to keep up supply/relieve the pressure from that missed feeding?  Waking up every 2-3 hours for months at a time, I do not feel the lovey, dovey warmth that I am told that I should feel as I breastfeed my child... I feel tired, stressed and often resentful of my sweet child who needs the nourishment, my husband who's sawing logs in the next room (and well rested in the morning) and my toddler who has so much energy and just wants her mommy to play with her during the day.

Breastfeeding is cheaper that formula feeding.  OK, so this one is pretty legit.  It's much cheaper to produce something for free than to hand over tens of dollars for cans of formula.  However, there are expenses involved with breastfeeding... nipple pads so you don't leak out of the left boob while feeding from the right, creams and gel pads to soothe tender areas, nursing bras/tanks/shirts/etc., breast pump, and the 30 bottles you may have to purchase to figure out which one is the most shaped like your nipple so that you're little one will take a bottle while you're away at work (Dr. Brown's, if anyone is curious).

Breastfeeding is great bonding time for mom and baby.  So... if you don't breastfeed you don't bond?  I call bull shit.  I don't feel like my bonding with my children came during feeding times.  I was too tired and had my eyes closed at 2 AM or they were asleep (though, of course, NOT at 2 AM when I wanted them to be) or staring off into space.  My bonding came from rocking them in my arms, making funny faces and coo-y noises at them, dancing around the living room and just spending time together.  I can also tell you, for a fact, that my husband did not bond with our children due to breastfeeding.  ;)

If done correctly, breastfeeding doesn't hurt.  Again, BS.  Breastfeeding, even when the latch is 100% correct can still hurt... just maybe in different ways.  Even now, 4 months into my second kid, my let down still stings a bit.  Ever since my first was a few months old, my chiropractor has become my best friend.  I constantly feel physically drained, nutrient deficient and dehydrated... I'm constantly focusing on what I'm eating/drinking, how much and how often.  Breast pumps are not exactly soft, pillow-y apparatuses either.  But that's just the physical discomfort... there's the constant stress of: is s/he getting enough to eat? Is working outside the home killing my supply? When am I going to be able to pump today? Can I drink that?  Can I eat that?  Where, while I'm at this event/party/activity/date with my husband will I be able to pump?  Crap, am I leaking through my shirt?  Is this taco going to give the baby gas?  Is this medication going to decrease my supply?  Can I run all 20 errands in the 2 hours that I have between feedings or am I going to have to find a place in public (or retreat to my car) to feed my baby?  Am I wearing appropriate clothing so that I can do so without flashing the old man sitting across from me at the restaurant?

Pregnancy weight will just fall off!  Not much to say on this topic... just wanted to point out that this is NOT the case for everyone.  I had to TRY to lose every pound after the initial birthing weight loss.

So, to sum it up, breastfeeding is a pain in my ass that I really don't like doing... but I continue to do it... because mommy guilt.  I don't know how much longer I'll do it.  My supply had pretty much kicked it by this time with my first, so we'll see what happens with the second...

I can't be the only one, right?  I'm not alone?




P.S.  That linked article pretty much could have been written by me, too.

A Poop in the Hand is Worth...?

Having two kids has been an adjustment... especially one being an infant and the other a 2 year old.  They both have their own challenges!  Several people have asked me if it's harder having two kids than one.  I don't think that it's "harder" necessarily, but just requires more of you, your time and patience.

I would compare it to getting a new, large, responsibility at work.  It doesn't exactly make the job itself harder, but you have to re-prioritize in order to get everything done and you have to figure out what's the most important thing to focus on at any given time... and then you go home and drink a big glass of wine.  ;)

Case and point... my life today as a mom of two while Jacob's at work:

11:20... After sitting in a quiet room having an hour-long power struggle with an obstinate toddler who refuses to put away her play dough (baby is napping at this point), I decided that it's probably a good time to make lunch as I know that baby will be waking up soon.  So, I clean up the play dough, put it away on a high shelf letting Emily know that she won't be able to play with it tomorrow either as she refused to put it away today.  Then I make PB&J for Emily and I (with toasted frozen bread as, apparently, the stuff that's been out on the counter is now moldy).

Sandwiches are made, half of mine is eaten, Sam starts to scream.  I go into the nursery and feed him, leaving Emily alone in the dining room to finish her lunch.  After feeding Sam (who hasn't been feeling well and has been spitting up more than normal), I realize that he smells kind of gross and decide to give him a bath.  I fill up his tub, get him undressed and into it, and give him a quick wipe down.  Emily comes in with her face and hands covered in peanut butter and jelly.  I tell her to go wash her hands and face with WATER (not just the dry napkin that she's holding).  She goes into the other bathroom and, presumably, washes up (I have yet to check out that bathroom).

By the time she's done there, I'm getting a screaming Sam out of the tub.  She decides that she wants to take a bath so, I empty out Sam's tub and fill up the bath tub for her to play around in.  I take Sam into his room to get a diaper on and get him dressed (yelling questions to Emily so that, by her responses, I'll know that she hasn't drowned... I'm paranoid).  Sam's still screaming.  I think he's tired again, so I put him in his crib and swaddle him.  He's still screaming, but sleepily so I leave to go check on Emily. 

Sam falls asleep.  I take the opportunity to grab my pump.  Since Sam hasn't been feeling well, he hasn't been eating as much, which means that I've been a little, um, "full".  I set up shop outside the bathroom door so I can keep an eye/ear on Emily and start to pump.  I get a couple of ounces in when, almost simultaneously, I hear:

Sam:  SCREAMING

Emily:  Mom, I pooped in the bathtub!  See??!

I quickly disconnect myself from the pump and make a quick assessment of the situation... screaming child or child in bathtub who is HOLDING her own feces.  Hmm.  Tough one?  No. 

I grab toilet paper, take the offending log out of her hand and put it in the toilet.  Lift her up and put her on the potty so that she can finish, empty out the bathtub, grab some Clorox wipes to wipe down the interior and exterior of the tub (it got everywhere since she was passing it between both hands and then touching things), grab some paper towels so that she can wipe her hands off.  Wipe her butt when she's done, take her to the sink so she can wash her hands with soap and then sanitize.  The whole time Sam is screaming from his crib.

Once I'm pretty sure that all fecal matter has been addressed, I go in to get Sam and Emily heads to her room to get dressed.

Sam is pretty much inconsolable by this point so I'm walking, bouncing, shushing, anything that I can think of.  I go into the dining room to get his vibrating bouncer chair and see my lunch sitting on the table.  Oh yeah.  I was eating lunch, wasn't I?

I take Sam and his chair into the master bedroom and manage to calm him down so that I can finish pumping.  Emily comes in, all dressed.  She sees a bottle of lotion on my nightstand and decides that she needs some.  It's the pump bottle variety so, of course, it sprays the wall when she pushes down on it.  I tell her to go grab a towel.  She goes into the bathroom and comes back with a Clorox wipe.  Oh yeah, I forgot to put those away.  She takes the wipe and affixes it to the wall by means of lotion.  And turns around to leave it there.  I manage, somehow, to continue to rock Sam with my foot, while balancing my pumping bottles on my legs so they don't get detached, and reach over with one free hand to wipe off the wall and hand the wipe to Emily to throw away.

Pumping done, I manage to get myself detached, ask Emily to play with Sam for a minute and put the milk in the fridge.   I think come back into the bedroom and have a few quiet moments with Emily and Sam before naptime.  Phew. 

Then it's time for Emily's nap... which coincides with Sam needing to eat.  So, again, Sam's screaming and Emily needs to get down for a nap.  Sam goes into his bouncer once again (getting red in the face and pretty pissed off) while I try to get Emily into bed.  We get the correct water cup, and the correct blanket and try to go potty and FINALLY get her in bed.  I grab Sam, go into the living room, feed him, and manage to get him to fall asleep, too.

1:30... I finish my lunch.

The Story of Sam

I can't believe that it's been almost a full week since Sam was born and I haven't even made a "He's Here!" blog announcement!  Well... he's here.  =)  Samuel (Sam) Joseph was born October 30th at 3:28 PM.  8 lbs, 18 inches.

Sam's birth story started LONG before his arrival however.  You may all remember reading about the false alarm on the 24th, the day before his due date.  After being sent home, I continued to have contractions off and on, though with no real regularity in frequency and they never really got much stronger.   It seemed like every day I continued to experience other labor related symptoms (stop reading now if you don't want to hear gory details)....................................................... if it wasn't more contractions, it was soft bowel movements, loss of the mucus plug, increase in discharge... all kinds of wonderful stuff.  Every day I would touch base with our doula, and every day nothing happened.  I continued to go on walks, bounce and circle on my exercise ball, and try everything else that I could to get labor moving.

Finally, on Wednesday, Oct. 29th at about 7:00 PM, something extra weird happened.  I was cleaning up dinner dishes and felt a weird "pop".  It was like someone shoved a pin into a ping pong ball sized balloon in my "area"... a little water balloon to be exact.  I said something along the lines of "well, that's weird" to Jacob and went to the bathroom to check it out. 

My underwear and pants were both wet, but nothing else seemed to be going on (no additional "leakage").  I had had a similar wet incident a couple days prior (without the "pop" though), so thought it was just more of the same.  I took of my bottoms and went into the bedroom to get some dry clothes.  I got about two steps into the bedroom and another ping pong ball worth of water came out.  At this point I went back to the bathroom and yelled to Jacob that something was definitely going on.  I put on a maxi-pad and some clean clothes, Jacob called his mom.  We then made calls to doctor, doula and my mom and waited for Jacob's mom to arrive to hang out with Emily. 

At this point I think Emily sensed that something was going on and was acting out a bit so, I sat down on the couch with her to cuddle for a little bit, talk about what was about to happen, and take in the last few moments of being a mother of one with an amazing little girl.  =) 

A few minutes later, Jacob's mom showed up.  I got up off the couch and started walking back to the bedroom to grab some last minute things to head out.  Halfway to the bedroom a GUSH of water came out.  I yelled for Jacob and hightailed it to the bathroom.  I had him bring me a hand towel this time and another dry pair of pants.

Thankfully the hand towel was sufficient coverage to get us to the hospital without making more of a mess.  ;)

We got to the hospital, got checked in, and myself undressed and into bed where I was once again hooked up to monitors and checked out... still having the occasional gush of fluids... weirdest feeling ever. 

Since my water broke, there was no going home this time!  I was told that the baby would be born, one way or another, in the next 24 hours.  At that point I wasn't really having contractions and, when they checked me out, my cervix was still posterior (really high) and I was barely dilated.  The nurses called the on-call OB who suggested that I try to get some sleep and that I be checked again at around 5:00 am and started on pitocin.  I told the nurse that I was all for getting some sleep, but that I wanted to avoid the pitocin as long as possible.  At this point we checked in with our doula, told her what was going on, and asked if she could be there for the 5 am check.  Then Jacob and I tried to get comfortable and get some sleep.

Right around 3:00 am I woke up with contractions.  They weren't overly strong at first, but they continued to increase in strength and frequency... to the point that I woke Jacob up and asked him to ask our doula, Kristin, if she could come earlier.

Kristin got there around 4:00 and, since I was awake and having contractions, they checked me out early.  My cervix was still quite high, so Kristin encouraged me to start moving around.  We walked up and down the halls for a little while, and then bounced/swayed on a birthing ball.  The contractions continued to get stronger little by little.  Around 8:00 am (I think, time is a bit fuzzy for me at this point), my OB came by to check in on me.  I think I was dilated to about 3 cm at that point.  She agreed to hold off on the pitocin as long as I was making progress on my own, and said that she'd be back during the lunch hour to check on me again.  So, more walking, more bouncing. 

By this point, bouncing on the ball was feeling great until I had a contraction, and then, something about the ball just intensified everything... and moved it to my back.  Up until this point I was so grateful that I wasn't feeling pain in my back.  After the intense back labor with Emily, I REALLY didn't want to experience that again.  But, something about that damn ball just relocated the pain.  Kristin was helpful with some massage/pressure during the contractions, but, ultimately I gave up on the ball and just walked around the room for a bit swaying my hips in circles trying to get the little guy to DROP already!

Somewhere around 11:00 am things started to change.  The contractions were MUCH stronger now, and I was feeling most of the pain in my back, even not being on the ball.  Heat didn't make much of a difference, pressure/massage still helped but not enough.  There were suggestions that I get into the tub, but that just seemed like way too much work when I was in so much pain that I could barely even move.  All I wanted to do was lie down.  The nurses came in to check on me and decided to call my doctor, who advised them to check and see how dilated I was.  By the time that they got back into the room, I was in so much pain (in my back) that I could barely move and, it was at that point, that I decided that I wanted the epidural.

My plan, with both births, was always to see how far I could get without pain meds as I knew that getting them could prolong/slow down the labor process.  But, at the same time, I didn't feel the need to put myself through so much pain when relief was available.  I think that I could have gone longer had the contractions not moved to my back... but that pain is like nothing else imaginable and I had had enough.

Since I was in so much pain and asked for the epidural, the nurses decided to wait on checking my cervix until about the drugs had been administered.  So the anesthesiologist was called.  I think she arrived pretty quickly and got me set up for the needle.  Our doula had to leave (protocol apparently) until everything was said and done, but Jacob was able to stay there with me.  It was really hard not to clench/move/yell in agony while sitting on that table and getting contractions while trying to also get a needle shoved in my back.  The doc told me that I have some pretty strong back muscles... still not sure if that was a good/bad thing given the situation.  =)

After the drugs kicked in, I got settled back into bed and the nurses checked me out... 7 cm.  I was pissed. With all that pain, work that I'd gone through, I thought for sure that I'd be farther along then that!  Shortly thereafter my OB came back up to check on me.  It had been less than half an hour since the nurses checked me, so I wasn't expecting much... but THANK GOD I was at a 9!  Two centimeters in less than 30 minutes!  I was THRILLED. Since I was making so much progress on my own, pitocin was no longer on the table and my doctor advised the nurses to let me labor for awhile on my own. 

It was now lunch time on the 30th.  I joked with Kristin and Jacob that they could feel free to go grab lunch and bring it back into the room... as long as it wasn't a bacon cheese burger.  =)  Since I wasn't allowed to eat, I certainly didn't want to smell anything TOO good! 

That's the last thing I really remember until "waking up" to a room full of people in blue scurrying around in what felt like a bit of a panicked state.

I didn't really know what was going on and what the problem was.  All I knew is that I was shaking pretty uncontrollably.  The anesthesiologist was back in the room, as was my nurses and one or two more, and my OB.  I remembering hearing something about a "cord issue", having a hard time finding the heartbeat, and references to my blood pressure.  Someone else put an oxygen mask on me.  Needless to say, I was getting a little freaked out... which probably didn't help the shaking.  However, I do remember the anesthesiologist telling me that the shaking was perfectly normal... so that helped a bit.

After things calmed down a little bit, I was able to determine that the "cord issue" was an issue with the blood pressure machine's cord (not the umbilical cord).  They were having a hard time getting the heartbeat with the external monitors in the position that I was in, but once they put an internal monitor in there was no problem.  I'm still unclear if I actually had a blood pressure spike, or if the machine was just malfunctioning.  Either way... way to freak out a laboring mama for no apparently reason!  (And without much communication during the process!).

After calming myself down and getting some explanations, I was able to relax and rest for a bit longer... getting checked ever so often to see about my dilation and cervix thinning.  They also asked me constantly about any pressure that I may be feeling and if I was feeling a need to push.  I was definitely feeling pressure (much like the pressure you feel when you need to have a bowel movement) but wasn't feeling the need to push. 

At around 3:00 PM, my OB came up again to check on me, and decided to try a couple of "practice pushes".  She explained what I was going to do and how (deep breath, push for 10 seconds during a contractions while pulling myself into my bent, raised legs... three times during each contractions).  We then waited for a contraction to come (which I still knew was happening because that's when the "pressure" felt the strongest) and I "practiced" a push.  After that one practice push, my doc was asking for a robe because the baby was coming!

By 3:23 PM a contraction came and we were set up and ready to start the "real" pushing.  I pushed through 2 contractions (6 pushes) and the little guy was OUT... at 3:28 PM.  That's right... only FIVE MINUTES of pushing.  So, so happy that part went so quickly!  (As opposed to 3 hours with Emily!).

I had no tearing.  The placenta came out shortly thereafter.  I got to hold my little guy while the nurses started clean up and checking him out.  He even latched out for his first feeding without me even trying to get him there.  I'm so, so thankful that everything went so smoothly and that we now have a healthy little guy with a head full of blonde hair (I'm glad the heart burn I had was due to something!) and, what appears to be, brown eyes (which is super weird as both his dad and I have blue eyes!).

Jacob's folks brought Emily by the hospital later that evening so that she could meet her new brother.  She was pretty excited about it and wanted to hold him and "pet" him.  She calls him her baby and gives him kisses and cuddles up next to him. 

We were able to get discharged on the 31st, in the evening.  This was really important to me as I wanted to be there to see Emily off as she went trick-or-treating for, really, the first time.  Her grandmother's took her to a few houses around the neighborhood.  She was dressed up as a princess and had so much fun. 

I love my family.  And I love how "complete" I feel that we are now with Sam in our lives.  I am so looking forward to seeing what the future brings for us!

New Rooms!

Finally "finished" the new nursery up last weekend (it still needs some decorative stuff, but, for the most part it's ready to go). 

We ended up doing some switch-a-roo-ing to make "everything" fit in terms of rooms of our house.  Jacob's office was downsized and was moved to a section of our TV room (I was worried that it was going to be too crowded, but it actually turned out ok).  Emily was moved from her nursery to a new "big girl room" that was Jacob's office, and the new baby will reside in the nursery that's been updated slightly since Emily's departure.

For those of you who have been reading my blog since Emily's arrival (and for those of you who haven't), here's a reminder of what the nursery looked like when it was her's.  The main differences now is a new rug, new curtains (we actually got even NEWER curtains since the below photos were taken--they are all navy now) and some different wall decorations:

Emily's new "big girl room" is where most of my energy was spent.  She already had her toddler bed, but needed a dresser, bookshelves/case, some organizational stuff, and some kind of seating... so I got to go shopping.  =)  We kept the curtains from her nursery, just moved them over, and reused the same rug.  I found a great little dresser on a FB sales group and the bookcase from IKEA.  I even got to pick out a new paint color for the walls!  I wasn't sure what to do about seating, but was able to find a slipcover that worked for the chair that was in there when it was still Jacob's office.  So that worked out, too!  We did all of the painting and most of the furniture stuff back in August when Emily spent a week with her grandparents, and then we moved her in a couple of weeks later.

I think my kids have some pretty cute, comfy, cozy rooms if I do say so myself.  ;)  Now it's time to change up my own! lol

False Alarm =(

Last night I started to feel kind of weird.  Around 8:00 in the evening I started to feel some "indigestion" (kind of like how I feel when I eat too much dairy), but I didn't think I had any reason to be feeling that way... and "that way" is very similar to how I felt right before I realized that I was in labor with Emily.  So, I put myself on alert and started to pay close attention to what was going on with my body.

Around 10:30 I was still feeling "weird", but nothing really special.  Some slight cramping, but nothing regular to time.  So, after filling in our doula and making sure that Jacob's mom (who would be coming over to hang out with Emily when I go into labor) was on stand by, I decided to go to bed and try to get some sleep.  By that point my lower back/tailbone area was a bit achy, but nothing too out of the ordinary.

Somewhere around 2:00 am I woke up.  Not really sure why I woke up, but I realized that I was having contractions.  Not the Braxton hicks ones that I've been having for weeks, but actual contractions (and in the FRONT this time.... I was so realized as the entire time I was in labor with Em the pain was in my back).  I clocked them for about 20=30 minutes, trying to decide if it was the right time to wake up Jacob and get the ball rolling.  They were coming at about 4 minutes apart.  They weren't overly painful, but they were definitely there.  Jacob finally shifted/rolled over, giving me the opportunity to wake him up NOT from a dead sleep and the ball went into motion.

Last minute hospital bag stuff was packed, Nana was called to come over, pull out bed was made for her, doctor and doula were both informed of the situation.  Left for the hospital.  Still having contractions, still not overly painful, but there. 

We got to the hospital a little after 3:00 AM and got check in to a room.  I got gown-ed up and the monitors were attached to my belly.  The monitors were picking up the contractions, but they had backed off and were irregularly coming 5-8 minutes apart.  The nurse check me out and my cervix was still REALLY high, and I was barely dilated. 

One of the most disappointing feelings in the world to be sent home from the maternity ward.  I was definitely HAVING real contractions, they just weren't progressing anything else, so we were told to go home, get some rest, and monitor my progress.  I managed to get a couple hours of sleep when we got home, and by the time I got out of bed around 8:00 AM, the contractions stopped. 

So, so, so bummed out right now.  =(  I'm 39 weeks and SIX DAYS... it's TIME.  =P

I Left My Heart in Portland

I'm out of town for the first few days of this week at a conference for work.  A conference that I really wanted to go to, and had to fight for.  I've been looking forward to it for months.  But then the day came and I didn't want to leave.

I realize that I'm a mom now and leaving my kid and husband is REALLY hard.  I had to do my best not to tear up because I didn't want Emily to get the wrong impression... but, I'm telling you, it was really difficult, and I know that my voice cracked a few times.  Especially when I told her that I was going to go "bye bye for a few days" and she said, "I'm fine.  Mommies come back".

She's been watching "Daniel Tiger" recently and that's one of the songs/themes "Grownups come back"

She melts my heart.  I love her so much.

And, of course, I'm missing Jacob, too.  ;) 

The Darndest Things

Emily's vocabulary has been skyrocketing these last few months.  It's really been funny/entertaining to hear the things that come out of her mouth.  I also know that she's starting to repeat things that we say... without really understanding the social context (i.e. that she can sound kind of rude. lol).  Some of my favorites words/phrases that she's using so far:

"Friends":  I'm sooo excited that she's learning this one... and that she has so many friends to talk about.  =)

"Just a minute":  This is obviously something that she's repeating from adults in her life, and it can be frustrating to no end if we're in a hurry, but it's still pretty cute.

"No Thank You":  Generally it is great to hear her being so polite, however when it's in response to a request such as "Come help me clean up your room" it can get a little irritating.  ;)

"I'm fine":  Often in response to trying to get her to eat more dinner or try to use the potty.

"Wake up daddy":  She says this to get Jacob out of bed... but also in the car (when he's not driving).  We think he has a reputation.   ;)

"Ex-scuse me":  After she passes gas... which is often.  She takes after her dad.  And then she says, "That's me!"

"My [fill in the blank]":  Usually reserved for people such as "my mom", "my dad", "my [friend's name]".  It puts a smile on me face when I pick her up from daycare and hear her say "My mommy!" with a giant smile on her face.

It really is so great that she's able to communicate with us better now.  She can tell us when she wants/needs something ("mommy, I need chocolate chips"), and when she doesn't want something.  She can tell us when she has an owie, and she can have mini conversations with us about things that happen at day care.  (She bit a kid the other day, and we were able to talk about it several hours later with her understanding that her actions were wrong).  She also "sings" to us in the car sometimes.  =)  I'm loving this stage.  Each new stage gets more and more interesting.  =)

Camping While Pregnant with a Potty Training Toddler

I was a little nervous about our camping trip last week... both due to the fact that I'm 6 months prego, that Emily was only one week into potty training, and that it was forecast to be roughly 90F throughout the weekend.  But, we had the reservation, so we went for it.  And, for the most part, I'm happy to report that it went very well!

We went up to Camp Dakota.  Jacob had a Groupon for some of the activities.  Since I'm not really able to go ziplining, rock climbing and paint balling, he invited his brother to go along.  Emily had an absolute blast hanging out with her cousin Sophie! (It would be cool to go back sometime when the kids are older and I can actually DO some of the stuff!)

So, the key things to note before I overwhelm you all with pictures:

1. Emily didn't have a SINGLE accident!  She "went" the whole weekend in her little potty!
2. The air mattress that I slept on was almost more comfortable that my Tempur-pedic bed... had a lot more "give" to it.
3. We were at a higher elevation, with more trees... so it only got in the 70s or so.  Great weather.  Though, still 6 months pregnant and over heating.  =)
4. Holding a potty training toddler over a porta-potty in the heat while pregnant is really, really gross.

OK... now for some photos.  =)

Perfect combo: One cousin learning how to read, another cousin who loves to be read to!

Emily would fall asleep each night on her air mattress in her sleeping bag, but every night she ended up squeezed between Jacob and I.

Our "indoor plumbing"  ;)

Learning Frisbee Golf!

She's got quite the arm!

Jacob and Sophie working their way to the top!

Our tee pee.  It was too hot to actually use, but cool to look at.  ;)

She LOVED this tire swing.  Scared the crap out of me though!

Making a fire in the tee pee while we hang out outside.  =)