Saturday, April 21, 2012

Still In There

I am still pregnant.

I am now four days past my due date.  I know that "most" first time mom's go past their due date, but I really didn't think that would be me.  At least, not four days.  I am a very punctual person... I assumed that my daughter would be as well.  And, as my cervix had gotten such rave reviews at my last Dr. appointment, I figured that it would have happened by now.

I'm feeling really sad and kind of depressed.  This waiting, anticipating, and thinking it's going to happen (only to find out that it's not) is really starting to effect me.  I have never been good with "surprises".  I am type A.  I worked off of a plan/schedule.  And my schedule has gotten all messed up.

On Friday morning I woke up at 2 am to contractions.  They were pretty mild (more uncomfortable than painful) and I clocked them at about 8 minutes apart.  I was able to catch some sleep off on and on until about 6 (waking up and clocking them every hour or so... always about 8-10 minutes apart).  I finally got up at about 6:00 thinking, 'Today is the day!"  I had a cup of tea, called my mom to let her know what was going on and then waited... for nothing.

By 7:30 or so they had completely disappeared.  I was pretty much heartbroken the rest of the day.  I went on another long walk hoping to get things moving again... but nothing.  My mom called me three times during the course of the day to check in.  And still, nothing.  I had several friends who "knew" that it was going to happen on Friday (even without hearing about my early morning experience) and they all checked in with me... only to hear a big, fat "Nope".

This is all just getting really frustrating.  And I know that the waiting/anticipation/false starts is having an effect on Jacob, too.  He brought up induction last night... something that he has been against.  I think, at this point, we are both just "ready".

Another reason that I'm feeling so down the longer it takes her to get here is that I know that the longer she takes, the less time that I'm going to have to spend with her before I have to go back to work.  I'm only taking 8 weeks before I go back part-time.  I have already been out for a full week.  I feel like it was wasted just sitting around my house waiting (and getting over ANOTHER icky cold).  It was hard enough thinking about dropping my daughter off at day care at 8 weeks... and now having to think of 6 or 7... I want some bonding time OUTSIDE of the womb.  I wish that she understood this, too...


Lauren said...

Trust me, inductions aren't a horrifying end of the world event. After waiting for so long it was a HUGE relief to get one scheduled. I was able to relax and the labor didn't seem any worse to me. The last mom I know who was extremely anti induction went THREE WEEKS past her due date. Yikes and no thank you, in my opinion. Just do what feels right for you. She'll be here soon.

Holly said...

I cried out of frustration when Grace was a a few days past her due date. It's a frustrating thing, indeed. She'll be here soon. Hang in there.

Sadie said...

Oh my friend, it is SOOO hard to be waiting for your precious one to arrive! We were 2 weeks overdue before labour finally started. The big day will come soon, but the waiting is a bummer.