Sunday, April 1, 2012

April Has Arrived!

Happy April everyone!

Usually I would be wishing you a happy "month"... but this month is particularly special.  This is the month that I become a MOTHER! 

Oh crap! lol

Sometime within the next three weeks (hopefully! I'm giving the little one a few days of tardiness with this estimate), I'm going to suddenly go into labor and (not so suddenly, lol) birth a child!  It just seems so weird and unreal. 

I feel ready in the regard that we have the "stuff" that we need (we think!) but I feel so very unready in the sense of having NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!  Several times during the course of this pregnancy I've had the "what the hell have I gotten myself into?" thought.  (Tell me that I'm not alone here?).  As excited as I am to finally meet my daughter (so, so weird!) I'm really scared about being a parent.

Last night I gave myself a bit of a panic attack.  I Googled "what do contractions feel like?"  There were a lot of answers stating that it was going to feel like menstrual cramps (that continue to get worse), but one woman said that it felt like she need to have a bowel movement but nothing would come out.  Well, last night my stomach didn't agree with something that I ate.  I had a hard time sleeping as I was so "concerned" (as concerned as one can be while half asleep at 2 am) that I was going into labor. lol  In the back of my mind I knew that I wasn't (as I knew, pretty much, what the food product culprit was that I'd consumed) but I still had a bit of a panic attack.

Did my other mother friends feel anything like this in the final weeks?  What did you do to calm yourself down and/or get yourself "pumped" for the impending pain that would be child birth/parenting? lol


Lauren said...

Well I suppose a good part of having a premie was that I never had to have those last weeks of wondering "if." But I think what you feel is totally normal and natural. My biggest new baby advice to you is to keep expectations low. It's okay if you don't get your ideal birth. It's alright if you don't feel an instant bond the second you hold your baby girl. Breastfeeding is hard and painful and if it becomes too much, bottles are ok too.

The first couple months are going to be stressful. I remember when Josh was about 2 months old and always seemed to be crying, one night I remember thinking 'this is why people shake their babies.' Thank goodness I had a supporting family and never actually did it, but I sure got it.

I think a lot of mothers go into it thinking its going to be all sweetness and smiles and bliss and then blame themselves or their babies when reality hits like a ton of bricks.

Take advantage of offers to help and ask them to help prepare a meal, or to watch the baby after a feeding so that you can take a nap. I could never sleep when Josh did because I was worried something might happen or that I had to much to do. Probably why I have just as many bad memories of the first three months as good ones.

Brittney said...

Thanks so much for this Lauren! All I hear is the "everything is fantastic" sort of stories... I like to know that it's not a bed of roses for normal people! lol

Holly said...

I went on lots and lots of walks to keep myself from thinking about and waiting for Grace to arrive. My contractions made it very difficult to sit down and as they got stronger, the best way that I got through them was walking and counting slowly and breathing evenly. I remembered counting to about 30 each time, even as they got harder, and thinking, "I can do anything for 30 seconds, right? That's one more contraction down and one step closer to my baby!"

I wish you the best. :-)

SG to SP said...

I agree with Lauren's post 100%. I'm not gonna lie the first month especially is very hard and very tiring but you will be surprised how naturally things just come to you and it may take some time but you will soon learn what works for you and your baby. Like Lauren said don't have high expectations or your heart set on certain things because that just guarantees that it won't happen or be the way you expect. The biggest thing about parenthood is to just go with the flow.