Monday, July 16, 2012

Baby #2

No, this is not an announcement of conception, nor of planning to conceive, but rather, a thought that I've been having lately.

Jacob and I want to have two kids, but the question has always stood of how long to wait between the two.  Jacob and his brother are 2 years apart.  In my family, the four of us are 2-3 years difference.  I guess that I just always assumed that my kids would be about 2 years apart, too.  But then I got to thinking, that means that I'll have to get pregnant again roughly this time next year.  Emily will be just over one year old.  Which means, that we should start "trying" around the beginning of the year (maybe a little later), when Emily is less than a year old.  Which means that I have, roughly, 6 months to prepare to be pregnant again.

I am NOT ready to be pregnant again, and I don't know that I will be in 6 months time.  I can't imagine caring for one infant while pregnant with another.  Nor can I imagine paying for daycare for TWO kids... we can barely do it for one!

I then started to think that maybe we should wait until Emily is ready for pre-school/kindergarten... in about 4 years time.  I have several friends who are 4ish years younger than their siblings and they are super close.  Plus, only one kid in all-day day-care, and a 4/5 year old can be (slightly) more helpful/independent than a 1-2 year old. 

But wait!  If we want to wait 4 years between kids, than that means that we should start trying in early 2015.... when I am pushing 33... no spring chicken!  Even back when I was about 26 and went for my yearly exam my doctor "recommended" that I start thinking about having children soon, as it gets harder and harder as the years go on.  Jacob and I were VERY lucky with how easy it was for us to get pregnant with Emily, but who knows if it will be as easy 4 years later... and I really don't want to put myself (and Jacob) through all the stress of trying unsuccessfully for a second child only to watch Emily get older and older without a sibling (and Jacob and I older and older, too).

It's a big conundrum.  Maybe we'll just get a dog instead.


Shannon said...

I've had a lot of the same thoughts. I definitely want to have one more kid and I keep saying I think it would be nice to have a 3 year age gap between the two but the biggest issue is being able to afford daycare for two. I also want to be done having babies by the time I'm 35 which means I need to get pregnant when I'm 34 and I'm 32 now. We also got lucky and got pregnant quickly but who knows if that will be the case again. Too bad we don't have crystal balls.

Lauren said...

Well, we had similar thoughts about maybe it would be more difficult getting pregnant again and it took 2 months with B and only 1 month for this baby. So if it wasn't too difficult with Emily then I wouldn't worry too much about what might be. I'd just start trying as soon as the timeframe for another feels right. I know I don't have any room to speak about this since I don't have to do child care, but I think that perhaps some creative money ideas might be worth more in the long run for your family to go ahead and have another in 2 years. But just do what feels right and it will all work out. A two yr old with an infant isn't too bad either. It's surprising how much they actually can help out.